@Personal

Adventures in Flirting

July 8, 2015

The other day, my friend and I seriously discussed the art of flirting. The conversation came up after I had shamelessly watched videos from Cosmo about flirting and what (according to their “experts”) men find attractive. Each time I watched a video, I laughed out loud. I found their suggestions hilarious. 

Of course, I had to share my new findings with my friend, which is how our conversation was born. She and I came to the conclusion that flirting may or may not be our thing, and that all-in-all it is just a bunch of smoke and mirrors.

Personally, I find that there is “art” to the act.

Side Note: I was definitely out when everyone else was taking their “Flirting 101” classes in middle and high school.

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At 20 years old, I will proudly admit that I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to flirting. Yes, yes, laugh away. I have no shame in telling you that flirting not only makes me severely uncomfortable, but usually results in my walking away feeling like the stupidest person to ever walk the earth.

I’ve seen friends in action and am consistently amazed at how they artfully flip their hair, bat their eyelashes and use the appropriate body language when they speak to a guy they find physically appealing. I, however, have never mastered that art. I usually find myself either rendered speechless, feeling very uncomfortable, or spewing out unnecessarily sarcastic comments. Flirting has never come naturally to me and probably never will.

I raise the question: why do we need to flirt at all? I know they tell you to just be yourself when you like someone, that being yourself will captivate them more than anything else. But how can someone be themselves when all we do is encourage people to flirt, flirt, and FLIRT SOME MORE!?

I honestly think that the reason I’ve been so uncomfortable in my *failed* attempts at flirting in the past couple of years is because I never really felt like I was being myself. I was always too aware of what I was doing and saying. I remember on one occasion I was actually concerned with the way I was standing…STANDING! There is no wrong way to stand, but boy did I think the dude I was “flirting” with was critiquing my standing skills!

In my head, I wanted to be the usual mysterious, subtly (dare I say it) sexy woman we all imagine in our heads when we think of flirting. I wanted to be seen as someone worth being chased after. However, the problem with this is that that woman is not me.

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That woman and I exist on opposite ends of the spectrum. The only word that begins with an “S” used to describe me is sarcastic.

I’m a constant bundle of nerves with too much energy for her own good. I insult those I care about in jest, and may or may not share too much information about myself upon meeting someone for the first time. I’ve been compared to a Chihuahua on more than one occasion.

I propose that we say to hell with flirting! Really and truthfully just be yourself! Regardless of what the person you’re flirting with thinks, you will always be someone worth chasing after. So go out there and be a little crazy, share too much information about yourself, and awkwardly saunter over to someone you find attractive! I, and millions of other awkward individuals, support you 100%!

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